But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
