So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
third nipple confirmed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
