"it" just moved
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
