I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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