I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
