Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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