Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
