I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
