D3 body, D1 cock
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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