You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
