Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize