Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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