what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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