these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
