The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
