how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
