I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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