what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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