I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
