Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
