"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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