so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
