I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we still banned from the library?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
