My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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