i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
