Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
