So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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