I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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