erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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