You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize