Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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