Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
send nudes
from the living room?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
