____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
