My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize