So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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