It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
