Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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