oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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