We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize