You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
