My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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