I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize