So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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