billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
