lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
