Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
