Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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