I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
