we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize