you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
