Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
