well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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