Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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