**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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