Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
