Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
