How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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