Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
