After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
