sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
