If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize