PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
